Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
