I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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