he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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