hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
