just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Randomize
