Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
