I am puke
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize