So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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