remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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