I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
