I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
