You just made me feel so damn special
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
