I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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