Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Randomize
