i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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