You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
