We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
