i was born a porn star she said
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Randomize
