I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
