I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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