I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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