The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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