1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
