At least make sure they are 18
Why
I puked a lego.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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