i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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