THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
