but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
