I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize