he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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