Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
