The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
