I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
