I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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