Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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