Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
