So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
