We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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