Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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