this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
