i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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