Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
