when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
