just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
