Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
