Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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