every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
