You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
