Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
