spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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