I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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