The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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