Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
