Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
