I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I understand Curling. That high.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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