I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
the condom got lost in my hair
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
