I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize