Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I will die if light touches me.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
