I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
