Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
