im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
