would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
If I die, sorry about rent.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
