it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
