He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
