why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
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The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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