bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
