We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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