we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
