dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
