We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Every concussion has its silver lining
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
