So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
