I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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