"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
